Speak Truth Wisely (Part II - Not All at Once)
essay series: Not All at Once
Say the thing….
August 23rd, 2023.
8am est.
New Jersey Spinal Care Clinic.
In my hometown of Wayne, NJ.
It’s not a true trip home unless I see my family and one of my best friends, Tom.
Our plan was to meet at our favorite chiropractic clinic for a cryotherapy session. Intensely freezing over bodies in a cryotherapy chamber is a staple to our gatherings.
I arrived a few minutes late and parked the car completely slanted in the parking space of the clinic.
With excitement, Tom and I make our way to the building elevator.
As we got in the elevator with the doors nearing closure, a gentleman slid his hand in between the doors. He made it just in time.
For the sake of the story, let’s call him, Joe.
My initial interaction of hearing Joe’s fast speech combined with his tense energy made me curious about this gentleman’s morning.
“Why is he this way?”
“Why does it feel like he is talking for an eternity?”
It’s incredibly early in the day. The sun just rose in the town of Wayne.
I think - “Is Joe just tired?….. Is it an earlier day for him than usual?”
My friend and I talk about our upcoming cryotherapy with child-like elation.
Joe starts talking about the constant work of being a father to 2 “beautiful, yet crazy” kids and, because of that, not having time to prioritize his health. His talking warps into monotone complaining.
"I really need this [cryotherapy] session.”
- Tom
"Yeah. I’m looking forward to it too. Much needed!”
- Me
“You are both young. I wish I had that kind of time to focus on health.”
- Joe
“I have 2 beautiful, yet crazy kids. They keep me up a lot. So, I don’t have the time for that health stuff.”
- Joe
“You are both young. One day you’ll understand…..”
- Joe
He talked for no more than 30 seconds. Yet, it felt triple the time. I was both intrigued by Joe and put off by Joe.
Eventually, Joe gets out of the elevator.
My friend and I continue.
We’re on a mission.
We’re young. We’re focused. That’s the energy Tom and I have when we’re together. It’s a blessing.
I say to Tom, "I was going to tell that guy that he is a liar. He actually does have time to workout.” ** my mind races and I quickly add ** “But…. he has kids and I’m not a parent, so what can I sa……"1
Tom bursts out with a belly-laugh, deep within his gut. I do too.
Tom gives me a brotherly nudge.
Still laughing, Tom says, "You definitely should've said that!"
I admire Tom’s innate intelligence to tell the truth in each moment as though he is a military sergeant.
I should've said something to Joe - who would've been greatly helped with such truth.
Now, the questions I was asking in my head during the elevator exchange changes targets. Joe was no longer the point of focus.
I started reflecting on my own actions.
I don’t like those who complain.
When I reflect, I further learn that I don’t like that about myself too.
I don’t like excuses for not having time for something.
It represents my dislike for when I make excuses to not prioritize the important things in my life.
See, I had the time to tell Joe something truthful. But I didn’t.
I think to myself: am I being an improper Christian by not following the Holy Spirit's guidance?
I could’ve asked him questions to help him understand his thinking.
That he shouldn’t look at prioritizing his health as a burden, but rather that if he does prioritize his health, he will have more longevity for his kids, be more agile in playing with them, and because of this he can be mentally happier.
I’ve learned that when I want to say something, more often than not, I should say it.
As long as I deliver the message rooted in intention and care, the receiving beneficiary of the truth can digest it as they want.
I’m deeply grateful Joe got in the same elevator as us. If the elevator closed on him, I wouldn’t have had this special opportunity for self-reflection.
I pledge to more deeply trust my intuition in leading me, so that I can deliver truth to others.
Make time for the things you care about.... and the truth you care about.
Saying that thing can help that person more than you know.
Truth wisely.
“If we live in the Spirit, let us walk in the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:25) 2
HUGE thanks to Kristin Yoshida,
, , , , , () , Brenda Geary, , and ().With their honest, incredible feedback, this essay came to be what it is.
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August 23rd, 5 minutes past 8am EST in Wayne, NJ.
Galatians 5:25 - from the Book of Galatians in the Bible
well done Anthony! excellent piece.
As always, I loved where this went since reading an earlier draft Anthony. You didn't even touch on limiting beliefs in the post because you already had plenty to say (and the essay constraint lol)! Such a relatable example.